Inferiority Complex

Last weekend was spent mostly doubting my abilities as an Amateur Ballerina.

There are talks of a potential show, which is my fault really for even suggesting it. The thoughts of tutus, pointe shoes, and dressing up as the corp de ballet for some kind of Swan Lake thing proved too much.
And then excitement ensued… Who would not want to get all Swanned-Up and dance like never before?
Corp de ballet? Yes please! Dance of the Little Swans… Er, I think I will take some convincing, as there is a lot of trust involved and I would be very worried about letting the team down.
How about a little slot in the show for a couple of solos? Definitely! I would feel more confident doing a solo than a pas de quatre.

Or would I?

The inferiority complex had well and truly set in by last Friday afternoon. I had decided that in the event that a show may go ahead that something a long the lines of Odette’s Variation would be the way to go. Nice and slow, no Double Pirouettes involved, all very controlled and perhaps very achievable?

Then I saw a video of Marianela Nunez.

Now, I know it is the beautiful Marianela Nunez. And I clearly understand that she is an AMATEUR BALLERINA, but she also sets the standard too high sometimes. She instantly wants to be able to do perfect Fouettés/Doubles/Triples, have decent flexibility and some form of extension, and after seeing this, suddenly decided that there was no point in even trying to perform a show as she was a complete failure of a ballerina.

Well, since then, I have almost seen sense. Having recalled some information from Margot Fonteyn’s biography and several comments about her extensions and arabesques being far lower, but by no means no less beautiful by today’s standards, there is hope for me yet.

Especially as I watched a video of Fonteyn’s Odette.

Now, I am not out to offend/critique the difference in these two talented ladies skills/styles…it is time that has changed and evolved ballet. But, having seen that Odette’s Variation can still be done without scarily impossible extensions a little bit of hope has been sparked inside of this amateur ballerina.

All that is needed now, is the certainty of the show, some courage, a lot of practise and a small miracle.

There may be hope yet…



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