Prima Ballerina to Wannabe Idiot in 60 Minutes

A lot can happen in class. It can build you up, leave you on a ballet high, make you dream big, and then just as quick as it put you there it can drop you just like that.

When I turned up for class this week I was feeling pretty good.

An hour later I wanted to hide in the corner.

Here’s how to go from Prima Ballerina to Wannabe Idiot in 60 minutes.

  • Find out you can dress as a Swan in your school’s annual show.
  • Get super excited about performing your mini Act 4 from Swan Lake.
  • Wake up the next day still excited.
  • Spend all of next day wondering if you should go all out and be brave by resurrecting your variation of Odette’s Variation.
  • Re-choreograph your steps/modify to improve while listening to the music approx. 396,076 times on the way home from work.
  •  Get really excited. REALLY excited.
  • Spend the rest of the time until next class imagining your performance.
  • Turn up to said class looking like you stepped off the ‘Black Swan’ film set.
  • Feel alright while rocking the ‘romantic’ ballet look.
  • Watch yourself in the mirror trying to convince yourself that people don’t think you look like an idiot in pink as you are no longer five years old OR have a ballerina sized bottom.
  • Start to think pink is definitely not flattering on you.
  • Get your ballet teacher to make you do doubles/multiples/whatever you are not very strong at while half the class watches.
  • Fail at said exercise.
  • Begin to wonder what on earth you were thinking when you thought you could pull off a solo.
  • Now struggle to get the combination right.
  • Lame Ducks Suck.
  • Have a major wobble-turn-off-balance-thing en pointe which happens in such slow motion so that you see your teacher run to try and catch you.
  • Above point must happen in front of entire class as you’re are going from the corner!
  • Think yourself lucky that you didn’t fall flat on your face and that your arms managed to finish in a nice arabesque position.
  • Get coat on quietly in corner.
  • Remember that you look a bit silly in your pink skirt.
  • Leave studio feeling like a complete idiot.
  • Wear black to next class and pretend that no Lame Duck/Multiple turn is going to get the better of you.
  • Get all Odile/Black Swan on doubt’s skinny little ballerina ass.
  • (Maybe even start to imagine that solo again?)

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